WTF akatsuki!
by larissaluv
Summary: What happens when the akatsuki appeard as cute cats?Then they were discovered in a Narutards house! rated T for hidans colourful, unicorn-ish language.Note the sascrams VERY OCC-ness warned u! MWHAHAHAHAHA!DISCONTINUED..
1. Chapter 1

My first story so please don´t be hard on it….

"Since I will be out to vacation to climb mountains out the in the wild for 3 months and going to hotel in Hawaii with my friends I´m giving you a big responsibility to take care of the house you get it Lisa? I know you´ll be fine but it´s just that I´m worried okay? " her mother said in a worried tone.

"I know mom. Don´t worry I´ll take care of myself and you know that you can call me when you´re worried about me okay? " Lisa´s mother nodded " Lisa I think you´re ready to have them…" her mother said

"Have what? " Lisa asked

"Wait here a second okay? " her mother said

**IN THE MEAN TIME WITH THE AKATSUKI….**

**"Fuck!!! Leader-sama where the fuck are we?! And why are we fucking kittens?!"**

**"I think we are sent to another world. When I was in ANBU I heard they had this jutsu that can ninjas into animal and send them away to another world… forever." itachi said with a quiet voice **

**" I see….how do we turn back into human? "**

**"I think by hot water" **

**"We have to also win our owners trust so that we can use him or her"**

**"Does everybody agree that we stay away from hot water and act nicely to our owners? " **

**They all noded**

**"yup... it makes sense anyway to away from water because cats hates water… " kisame said**

**"but tobi thinks that kisame looks like a fish. " tobi said In a very tobi like way. " tobi also thinks that senpai looks like a girl" hidan laugh in a very cat-ish way.**

**" Let me kill him!!!" deidara said and kisame looking pissed off.**

**"ENOUGH!!! " pein said and the group went into silence.**

**"Have you notice that I think that we are inside of a box? " sasori asked **

**"Yes!!! " they all said with hidan adding as swearword in the sentence and deidara with an un but the monotone said `hn´. **

**With Lisa and her mother…..**

She came back with a box that is really big.

"Mom what´s that? " I asked.

"Well I´m sure you´ll love it even though there´s a lot of it because and hard to take care of…… and when I got it I wasn´t sure if you´ll like it but they looks like a family and it´s sad to separate them from each other…" she trailed off with her words. "Take a look of it."

Her mother opened the box and there was 10 cats look weird but cute.

**Lisa POV…**

There´s a cat with a strange face like lollipop with orange fur it acts really cute. It has black eyes. But still weird….people!!!! Which cat has a lollipop face?!

The cat has spots that looks like piercings on his mouth ears and nose but the piercing is actually really fur and its eyes is orange. How freaky…

A cat that looks normal but red and has a black outlined circle with a kanji in it sure cute but weird.. I´m not an expert in kanjis but I know that it´s kanji

The next one is blue with thing that looks like gills and the hugest of them all… really weird but oh well. *sigh* have the previous owners before abused them??? I mean I tried to search for a for the natural coulor of the cat but it useless!!!

The next one looks very normal,has white fur and violet eyes and there´s a chain around his neck I took a look of it _your former master was a jashinist eh_? and grinned.

Next one has black fur and red eyes but there´s something weird about those eyes. The eyes are really creepy when I took a look of it last time the eyes was black but know it´s red!! Must be the light.

Another one has nice light brown and had soft green eyes but what weird is that it looks like it has stripes but the stripes looks more and more like stitches but more creepier was that it´s really looks like real fur like very creepy but sure cute…

There´s a very cute cat that has purple fur with a liltle flower and has violet-ish or purple-ish colour . it seems to be very close to the piercing cat… really cute.

The next one was soooooooooooo weird like really weird!!! Half white half black still in my freak-ish eyes it looks cute.

Hmmmm….. this one has blond fur that covers its left eyes pure blond like somebody throw a yellow paint on it. It has a silver patch over the left eye odd very odd….

"Thanks mom" I huged her "thanks! Really. Mom… i´m hungry so i´m going to take a shower and and cook later you can also get ready to meet your friend. " my mom is what people call `late like a turtle ´cause she´ll be always late. It´s funny thing really but she is THE best mom ever.

I went up the stairs muttering ´this is sooo troublesome´ using the word of a favourite person (**A/N:you know who that is….**)

I closed my room door and said "hehehehe…." I gave a creepy laugh " here comes the fun" the cat looke d at me weirdly " CAT NAME TIME!!!! " the cats flinched when I said that.

**Me: yay first chappie done!!! **

**Deidara: why are we kittens anyway??? **

**Me: you are not supposed to know that….yet…**

Please review!!! Thxs


	2. Chapter 2

So, larissaluv got a bit help from CrystalPhoenix9, which is me, on this fanfiction, but, it was her idea and I'm just helping her do some of it but, she's the author for this fanfiction. Many thanks to her for letting me help her! And she's a nice friend of mine! Larissaluv: we are!!!

And I want to thank to these people

Kuro Shinen Akuma (she named the cats nice name right?!)

GhostHoundFanGirl

Inner Jashinist

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3 hours later. "Okay, I'm done!" she said while drying off Licorice, the kitten that have the orange lollipop like face. "I'm sorry but I have to wash u guys first so that you won't be that dirty but at least, I used warm, actually a bit colder water." they all meowed at the same time. "Now, let's get you guys somethin' to eat!" she said while signaling them to get up and leave the bathroom.

She went to the kitchen and pulled out one box of cat food and pours it in each of their bowl that her mother bought before they leave for the trip. "Eat up my kitties!" she said after putting the big box away. Suddenly the door bell rings. She went off and answers it.

"Hey, Lis! It's me Heather!" said her childhood friend standing outside the door. "Heath! It's so good to see you! It's been a long time is it?" Lisa said to her, hugging. "Yeah, works the one that did not let me do so..... I heard about your mom going off a trip with my mom, I thought, maybe it's a great idea if I can stay with u for the 3 months? I got a 3 months' time out for work so that's not gonna be a problem for me." Heather said. "Of course, why not? I've been waiting for this opportunity! Come on in, I want to show you something cool! Oh let me help you with those bags." Lisa said happily. "Thanks!" Heather said while giving some bag to Lisa.

They put the bags in the room next to Lisa's since it have a spare bedroom , then went downstairs to see the kittens. "Jack O' Lantern (Jack or Lantern for short)is the one that looks like piercings on his mouth ears and nose but the piercing is actually really fur and its eyes is orange which reminded me of a Jack O' Lantern, Hissy is the one that looks very normal, has white fur and violet eyes and there´s a chain around his neck and he loves to hiss the whole time, Licorice is the one with a strange face like lollipop with orange fur it acts really cute, it because his mask fur looks like candy, Stitches's one has nice light brown and had soft green eyes but what weird is that because his fur looks like stitches, Origami has purple fur with a little flower and has violet-ish or purple-ish colour, because part of her fur pattern looks like her origami flower, Nightmare is the one that have black fur and also his eyes looked really creepy, YinYang is the one that has half black, half white fur, Cinnamon has hair/fur red color that reminds me of cinnamon, Waffles is the one that the fur is yellow, and waffles are a sorta yellow color (and who doesn't like waffles? XD), Aqua (or aquamarine) he has the blue fur with his gills, and looks somewhat like a fish. Pretty weird kittens huh? My mom found them, at first the weird colored ones r just paints, then, I tried to get rid of it, I can't, the old owners must have put dye on them, poor thing." Lisa said as she's watching them eat.

"I must say it is weird but, at the same time, they r cute!" Heather said stroke tobi's head which he liked it. "Hahahaha, there's ten of them. Oh! How about we split them in half? You have 5 to take care of and I have 5 to take care of we don't have to rush too much?" Lisa said. "Lis, that's a great idea! You'll start your choice since you're the one that care for them before me."

"Hmm, okay, I'll take, Cinnamon, Waffles, Hissy, Stitches and Licorice! Is that fine with you?" Lisa asked as she stroke deidara's head. "Hey, I'm fine, that's not gonna be a problem! Then, I'll have Nightmare, Aqua, Jack, Origami and YingYang then! They are perfectly fine with me!" Heather said to Lisa. They both smiled.

"Okay, let's get the dishes cleaned up!" Lisa said while she and Heather pick up the kitten's bowls. Then, they both are chatting about what to do with the kittens after they finished.

**Akatsuki POV**

**"What the, YingYang?" said zetsu. "At least, my name is not that bad!" XD**

**"Huh, Jack, I wonder if I will survive with that name. So, did u guys hear that? We will be separated for a while but remember, be nice to the owner!" pein said, reminding them.**

**"Well, at least we did not touch hot water." said kisame to the others.**

**"Tobi's gonna be super-duper nice to her!" said tobi, cheering.**

**"Tsk, I hate my ** name! And cut the ** already, our ** owners is ** coming! So, shut the ** up now!" said hidan cursing a lot.**

**"Leader-sama, are we ever going to return to our normal self?" konan asks pein.**

**"Not now, we'll wait a bit longer." Said pein.  
**

Back with the girls…

Then, there were silence.

"Okay, kitties! It's 6:00 PM, let's watch MTV!" said Lisa putting them down one by one so does Heather. Then, they put all of them in the middle of the big cushy couch. Lisa then turns on the TV and watched the MTV for about 3 hours.

"Maybe we should prepare dinner." Lisa said. "Yeah it's a great idea." Heather said.

"Aww…. Look at them! They are sleeping!" Lisa said. "They really are cute! Maybe we should be silence so we don't wake them up!" Heather said putting a finger on her lips. Lisa did a hand sign saying "okay".

"We better eat then go to bed. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow!" Lisa said happily. "Yup! Can't wait!" Heather said as she putting out the plates and spoon for 2.

After 20 minutes, they wash the dishes and carefully lift the kittens of their choice and carry them upstairs. Lisa placed her 5 kittens on a fluffy and big pillow on her 2 person bed. She brushed her teeth, turned off the lights and went to sleep on the other side of the bed. Heather was also doing the same thing next door but she brushed her teeth, changes her clothes and then went to her bed.

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CrystalPhoenix9: huh! Finished!

Akatsuki: WHY ARE WE STILL KITTENS IN HERE??

CrystalPhoenix9: now calm down. Blame it on larissaluv, not me.

Larissaluv: ummm….excuse me? I didn´t hear that did i?

CrytalPhoenix9: just joking! Don't take it so hard guys!

Larissaluv & Akatsuki: *death glare*

CrystalPhoenix9: eep! I'm sorry!

Hidan: if I can fuking sacrifice you then I would!!!

Larissaluv: wait a second I do want to kill her but she is still my friend!!! If you do kill her then i´ll kill you int the story!!!*changes mood* readers i´ll be happy if you give me reviews then I can give you the akatsuki!!!!

(CrystalPhoenix9: creepy lissa….. review anyway!!!)


	3. WTF akatsuki!

well i want to thank to those people that reviews!!! sorry that i didn´t write so much swear i´ll write more in chap 4!!

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Lisa's POV:

Well I let the cats go out but since it's quite muddy outside the cats got dirty *sigh* I have to clean them again…

IN THE BATHROOM:

I mixed the water. It´s actually more hot then cold I just hope that the cats are no going to scatch me… uhhh sometimes cats look cute but they have those sharp and hell-ish claws and hiss *sigh* too troublesome…. As shikamaru said…

I brought in the cats and put them in there they scrathed me and ouch waffle bit me!!!

So some how I manged to put them in the bathtub.

POOF!! It went I turned around

And "WTF akatsuki?!"

"OMG this is not one of the fanfictions where a girl got weird kittens, the friend will fall in love with someone she likes also the main character and funny moments? and fudge brownie?!**(A/N: you know thoose heavenly and absolute delicious ben and jerry ice cream.... opps continue with the story!)**"

_**Well tough luck it is one of those life… **_

_When the FUCK did I have an inner?!_

_**Well since now!**_

_Awww… fuck!_

_

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_

review!!

sasori: why?

larissaluv: well you want the story to continue don´t you?


	4. itachi looks retarded com!

"Heather!!! Hurry up and come here!!! I found itachi naked!!! And gakct too!!!"

In a matter of second heather was in the bathroom.

"WHERE ARE THEY?! I WANT TO SEE THEM!!!" Heather being an itachi fan girl and gackt fan girl of course wants to see them naked

Of course magically I had like 10 towels in my hand even though the towels only covered *cough cough* you know…

_**T**__**hey all really have six-pack not that I'm that surprise.**_

_This time I agree with you even though right know heather is going to have a major nosebleed__… _

_**Yah I know let's get a tissue pack for her.**_

_Nah I already got her 10 packs._

"OMFG!!! I need a tissue paper right now!!!" I handed her the tissue paper "oh thanks."

Then she fainted like in anime you know those funny ones.

"This is not going to help". I mumbled knowing what to do.

"Hey Konan let's go." I picked up heathers body and drag her out of her pool of blood. if another person was in here not knowing what happen they might have thought that shes dead. LOL

"Let's see your size is almost the same as me so…." I picked some sweats pants and t-shirts and gave them to her can you wear that? I'll buy some new clothes later okay?

"Thanks." She smiled at me. wow. who woud have thought that konan woud smile at me?

*sigh* this is soooo troublesome I've been using that phrase a lot haven't I?

IN THE BATHROOM:

_Okay…. So how am I going to do this?_

**Get them out of the bathroom and then figure something out**

_Yah that's a good Idea_

**Thanks.**

"OKAY!!! Get your fucking hot ass outta here!!"

So after some trouble some and fucking cursing moments later I finally got them out of my bath room.

"OK!!!" I said to them. "YOU will be fucking following my rules and before you ask why it's because this is my house!" I said no probably shout. Tobi looked like he might shit there cause he's freaking scared of me and he kept muttering 'tobi is a good boy.' Heh. No wonder deidara like to beat him up. **(A/N: no offence to tobi fans)**

*sigh*

"I'll find you guy some clothes then we can talk."

I went up to my parents room and went thorough the boxes. Searching for my dad clothes. The reason my dads clothes is in the box is because my parents divorced my dad left some stuff here. Ahah! Found it! I dragged the box to them and then kisame asked me "are the clothes in there?" of course I replied by saying "hn"

_Holy fuck! I've always, always wanted to say hn! _

_**I know he looks sooooooo retarded right now! **_(A/N: who would have thought that the itachi uchiha would look retaded? Well in my story he will.)

_I which….. that I have a camera right now! Then I can catch a picture of the retarded itachi then say 'hey you all fans this is the retarded itachi look belive me I got live! Want one? Only for 1$ it's on sale you can only get here on __! lisa makes itachi looks retarded . com(A/N: of course that only a fake one LOL)_

"Hey itachi there's somebody else who talks like you! You're not a loner!" kisame said to itachi. Well of course being itachi he only said 'hn' but inside I bet 10$ that's he's shocked!

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i'm evil if you don't review!!! so you got to review!!!!


	5. explaing or not n SASORI kyaaa

Lisa's POV:

"So," now this is really hard… how should I explain? There's a silence and they're all watching me….. This is awkward… "HOLY FUDGE BROWNIE!" now they all seemed surprise of this, but yes holy fudge brownie indeed, because I forgot that SASORI IS HERE AND DEIDARA BUT SASORI IS HERE! Fan girl moments sorry.

Ok. So. Wanna know what happened? You would not believe this! I HUGGED SASORI! HA! ARE YOU ALL PEOPLE JEALOUS? BECAUSE SINCE THIS IS MY STORY I'M GOING TO GLOP ON SASORI ALL DAY LONG!** (A/n: hihihihihihihihi I'll be nice and lend Sasori but you guys have to be nice :D)**

'Cept though he freeze…, but I still have him in my arms anyway. I grinned, then frowned he got away from me! That is evil.

"Will you explain to us now?" pein said sounding annoyed. Wow. Pein is hot but he belongs to Konan. I mean people with piercings are hot! Ok, if they're hot and have piercings and hot, means they're DOUBLE, TRIPLE HAWT!... Fan girl moments are important!

"Nop," I said popping the p, I swear if glare could kill it would kill me right now.

"Why not?" Kisame asked, of course a glare. I laughed mentally in my head having a plan that would work so well. I grinned.

"Well," I begin with a smile "Sasori won't sit with me!" I said then begin to grin **(A/N:does that make sense?...probally not but oh well)**"if he sits with me then I can tell you." I gave a puppy dog eyes to Pein. He seemed pissed but I could tell that he wants to know then he nodded. I did a victory but fan girl dance in my head, and again Fan girl moments are important!

Then, just then heather came back from her La La land. I bet that she thought she dreamed that she saw itachi with only covering his *cough* *cough* LOL, but that wasn't a dream. Can't wait for her to do something that might make the Akatsuki think that it's dangerous. I laughed evilly in my mind again.

"W…..what happened? I dreamed that you said that Itachi is here…. And then he was in the bathroom with only the towels to cover his *cough* *cough*" heather said and of course blushed.

I sighed, then I grinned.

"Heather, breathe and look around…." And then I popped some cotton in my ears and some in Sasori's, Deidara's, Konan's, Pein's and Tobi's I don't know why but I like Tobi except he seems kinda nice even though he's_ Madara_…. Probably that's one of the reasons. Of course they gave me what the heck look, but I just grinned.

Heather POV:

I heard somebody's voice talking and the voice sound like Lisa's. I sighed mentally; I was wishing that the Akatsuki was here. I mean I dreamed that the Akatsuki was here in real live and then I saw itachi with his body the towel covering only his *cough* *cough* you-know-what. If only dreams come true.

I sighed mentally again and woke up.

"W…..what happened? I dreamed that you said that Itachi is here…. And then he was in the bathroom with only the towels to cover his *cough* *cough*" I said and of course blushed.

Then heard Lisa's voice saying ""Heather, breathe and look around…." I breathe then looked around then I let out a super fan girl-ish scream did I mention my scream was one of the loudest?

_after a super Fan girl scream_

Lisa's POV:

I took off the cotton in my ear and of course the others too. They now finally understand why I did that. Even though Sasori still went away from me. I pouted. Then I choose to glop on Tobi. Even though Tobi seems happy with it I'm sure that Madara hates it thinking why is she hugging me? It's so annoying. I bet all my allowance on that. I grinned.

Madara's POV:

Why did she glop on me? It's so annoying...grrr...

BACK TO LISA POV:

"Now, now" I said. I know that Heather wants to glop on Itachi but she's too…. Shy? So of course being her best friend I pushed her too Itachi. Then he gave me the-Famous-Uchiha-Glare-That-Can-Make-You-P*ss-Right-Where-You're-Standing, but being me glares doesn't effect me so I just gave him the Well-too-Bad look to him.

"So-"

_"It's my life _

_It's now or never _

_I ain't gonna live forever _

_I just want to live while I'm alive _

_(It's my life) _

_My heart is like an open highway _

_Like Frankie said _

_I did it my way _

_I just wanna live while I'm alive _

_It's my life (Bon jovi-it's my life that song rock!)  
_

"Can you peoples wait for a second?" that's what I said

"Hey,"

"_Hi" _

"DAVID!"

"_Well Lisa I just want to remind you that I'm going to visit you today at 10:30 pm, ok?" _

"O-o-o-K!"

"BYE"

"_Beep-beep-beep"_

"OMFG! HEATHER! DAVID IS GOING TO COME HERE!"

"WHAT?"

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yay! 1, 051 words! imma soooo happy! that's a lot man! or at least for me!

-...-...-...-,..-.-.-.-.-


	6. WHAT THE HELL!

I am very sorry dear readers.

TOBI: WHAT? WHY? ISH LISSA-CHAN SAD?

LISSA: shut up tobi!

Again... I am very sorry, I am not going to continue this story b-

TOBI: WHAT? WHY!

LISSA: *ties him to the chair and tape his mouth* *smiles nicely* Now if you want to continue this story just ask me *smiles* all of you are very welcome to do so..

READERS: WHAT THE HELL?

LISSA: *sigh and closes the curtain*

READERS: *throws popcorn, throws lapto- not they put it down, throws soda cans* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Yes I am serious about not continueing this story. Maybe I have just lost intrest in it, maybe I have not that much time to update..

But if **YOU WANT TO CONTNUE THIS STORY** you are very welcome too. Sayonara my dear readers...


	7. Nyahaha! Author's Note&Omake

Okay, So, I've matured quite a bit and re-read my story and I found that it was absolutely horrible. So I've decided that I might continue it but as for now I am not quite sure if I should. As I've said before on the verrryyyy late chapter, I've lost interest in it so, I probably wouldn't or don't have time to. I'm writing another story and plan to actually complete it however the story is not a fanfic. If you do want to read it, you would have to wait since I am still in a process of planning and writing it. If you don't then I don't really give a f*ck so yeah :D.

My new fanfiction Account is

Destination Unreachable

Sooooo yeah.

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_Omake_

**TOBI: *cries in the corner* **no one loves me anymore.

**LISA: *pokes Tobi with a stick* **errr yeah. You're an evil bastard s-

**TOBI: *chuckles madly* **I SEE YOU KNOW HUH! HUH!

**LISA: *nervously looks around*** Oh sh- ***looks at tobi and then stares at the plate that magically appeared in her hand and smirks* **FOR NARNIAAAAAAAAAAA!

**TOBI: **OH WHAT THE F- ***ducks at the flying plate grinned madly* **MISSED.

**LISA: *Smirks* **NOT FOR LONG I TOLD YOU ITS FOR NARNIA, TURN AROUND!

**TOBI: *Turns* **Oh Shi- ***faints from getting hit by a boomerang plate* **

**LISA: *TWIRLS AROUND AND LAUGHS MADLY* **

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Err.. I don't even know. Oh Well! Bye guys!


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